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brittany

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blah [Mar. 30th, 2004|03:11 pm]
brittany
[mood |hungryhungry]
[music |against me!]

dammit... i am highlighting my hair blonde and puttin red in it. yay. my aunt is all like YOU NEED A JOB. whatever. im dying it. i founf a nissan -- it needs a clutch and catalyic converter. this dude was supposed to meet me at 4th hour so i could get some bud, but he didnt. im dry and i need it.
--gone.
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rawk [Mar. 27th, 2004|01:53 pm]
brittany
[mood |amusedamused]
[music |Radio Berlin]

there is a 1990 nissan 240 sx in my development... i mad emy aunt walk with me to look at it... it was beautiful. the owner's name is Greg. i want Greg's car.
gone--
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fuck [Mar. 23rd, 2004|04:05 pm]
brittany
damn, i dont understand so much. i dont understand wh my mom wont come to my graduation. isnt this supposed to be a major point in my great disappointment they call life? i havent got a car yet. i dont have a job. i cant find one and all i want is my 1992 nissan 240 sx xe with a 5 speed and carbon fiber hood, system and exhaust system.
gone---
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Who would have thought [Oct. 26th, 2003|04:10 pm]
brittany
jesus christ, it's amazing what three months away will do. it's as if they have all forgotten me. Heh, fuck them. i have called, emailed, etc. they do not, except Grace. they're fading away. i dont really want to move back home anymore.
--gone
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(no subject) [Aug. 1st, 2002|10:13 am]
brittany
[mood |melancholymelancholy]
[music |Adema]

Im going with my aunt today. Happy fucking birthday to me, right. yea. ill be able to drive and all, so thats all good. other than that...

Goodbye Paul... just like everyone else.

Gone.
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Hell turned loose [May. 22nd, 2002|06:38 pm]
brittany
[mood |blankblank]
[music |Unwritten Law "Seein Red"]

Last night I asked my mom if she had been smoking weed, and she said yes. She did once last week and then on monday night. We ended up arguing alot. She told me that its OK to smoke every once in a while, and blamed me for being "perfect" just because i have morals. i started crying a little bit, and not because shes disappointed me but because everything seems so unreal.. like im living in a dream world or something. I feel like she was implying that im a failure because i dont do that shit and ashlee isnt. I've disowned her, i cant bring myself to call her 'mom' i just cant. After we argued i wrote her a letter, but couldnt find her, so i left it on the desk. I walked back towards my room, and i heard silence behind ashlee's door and faintly smelled weed lingering in the air.... and i knew. Ashlee said way too quickly that she was the only one smoking. Fuck that.
On a lighter subject, today I saw this really hot guy. I was walking down the hall and literally froze and just stared in awe at him. He was about 5'7" really thin, black spikey hair, and these Marilyn Manson style contacts that were clearish blue with a black ring around the sides, and an eyebrow ring. I found out later, from Brittany who's friends with him, that his name is Brian (sound familair..?) and he's a junior and friends with Matt :D. Brit said hell probably talk to me. So thats awesome to a point. I dont wanna make any more friends since im moving and ill just miss more people.
Also, i heard a band thats in my school, theyre called Super Structure (maybe someone heard of them..) their one song was just AWESOME. Theyre not the greatest at singing but their guitars are just awesome. im getting their CD.
Grace might be able to come over after all, she's asking her dad tonight.. SAY YES JOE!! lol.

Gone
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Oh shit.. [May. 21st, 2002|09:21 pm]
brittany
[mood |gloomygloomy]
[music |Anti-Flag "Kill the Rich" (awesome beginning w/bass)]

I didnt mean to write that shit twice, im such an idiot. i got to talk to pablo.. he invited me to hang out with him andbonnie sometime, thats so awesome. im gonna confront my mom tonight... wish me luck...
Gone
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damn.. [May. 21st, 2002|07:39 pm]
brittany
[mood |not so ignorant anymore]
[music |Finch "New Beginnings" (thanks to Linds)]

My mom. She pisses me off. I wonder about her. I found out recently she has been smoking weed with my younger sister, who is 14. She is so stupid, she just doesn't think about anything. She owed my sister $10, hmm.. I wonder what for? A dime, maybe. All my thoughts about her using drugs are true, I just kinda hoped it wouldnt be... Who am I supposed to go to about this? Almost all my friends think is so cool (except Lindsay) but its not. I found out who my real friends are, and I found out how my friends really feel. Paul told me that he didnt think I needed to know.. um, hello, its my freakin mom. Why does everyone know except me? Its so fucked up. How do i know she isnt doing other shit, like coke? I dont... and we've (me and my dad) been wondering where all the money is going... Things are finally starting to make sense in my enigmatic life. Well enough about this bullshit..
I hope Lindsay is ok, because she found out one of her old friend died. That is so sad.
I gotta go..
Gone
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damn.. [May. 21st, 2002|07:39 pm]
brittany
My mom. She pisses me off. I wonder about her. I found out recently she has been smoking weed with my younger sister, who is 14. She is so stupid, she just doesn't think about anything. She owed my sister $10, hmm.. I wonder what for? A dime, maybe. All my thoughts about her using drugs are true, I just kinda hoped it wouldnt be... Who am I supposed to go to about this? Almost all my friends think is so cool (except Lindsay) but its not. I found out who my real friends are, and I found out how my friends really feel. Paul told me that he didnt think I needed to know.. um, hello, its my freakin mom. Why does everyone know except me? Its so fucked up. How do i know she isnt doing other shit, like coke? I dont... and we've (me and my dad) been wondering where all the money is going... Things are finally starting to make sense in my enigmatic life. Well enough about this bullshit..
I hope Lindsay is ok, because she found out one of her old friend died. That is so sad.
I gotta go..
Gone
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Ahh [May. 20th, 2002|11:11 am]
brittany
[mood |draineddrained]
[music |Kittie "Safe"]

I've been really sick lately, and my mom has been in Allentown with her boyfriend, Craig. She told me I'll have to get better on my own, because we can't go to the doctor. My Dad switched jobs, so we don't have insurance yet. So, basically, I could be dying, and I'd have to get through it on my own, that's how everything is. I came home last night with Lindsay with me, and I was looking for my mom to tell her that I'm home, and I couldn't find her anywhere.. So I ventured into Ashlee's room, and there she was with Ashlee on her bed near the window... high. I was shocked, I just looked at her, then went back to my room and told Lindsay. Ashlee literally begged me not to tell anyone.. fuck that! I'll tell whoever the hell I want. I want to talk to Pablo, because I think he could help me. My mom is so stupid, she didnt think about it at all. What will her boyfriend say? What if her new job makes her take a drug test? We're moving in only 3 weeks, and we all know chronic stays in the system at least 1 month. I don't know what to do, or say for that matter.. I'm so disappointed, embarrased, angry, pissed, I dont know!..
Linds -- I'm sorry you had to see that..
People think it would be so cool if their parents would smoke with them, it's not cool, not at all. She's more or less telling Ashlee that it's ok to do it - and it's not! I've realized more than ever now that I dont need my mom. I pretty much raised my self, and I didnt turn out too bad, now Ive gotta think about my brother. My mom isnt gonna be there for him, so I am. If i have to, when Im 18, Ill get custody of him. I can just see my mom and craig becoming potheads - no good. I dont know what to do..
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